As I walked to flag detail on this Memorial Day, I felt honored to lead the veterans in raising the flag. As a group of individuals who have served in our nation’s military, we represent a very diverse group of individuals; we are white, black, straight, gay, Christian, Heathen, and everything in between. Despite our differences, we come together every day as a group to salute our nation’s flag. Today, however, we salute not only our nation but those who have fallen in service to it.

Personally, Memorial Day brings to mind my Airborne Rangers in the Sky: Benjamin, Tyler, Ricardo, Connor, and Jennifer. While Jennifer wasn’t a Ranger herself, she died trying to save one. Memorial Day also brings to mind my family friend, Ray — a Marine combat veteran who ended his life because he wasn’t able to cope with the many service-connected issues in his life.

For me, Memorial Day represents a day to honor not only those who fell in combat but also to honor those service members who have fallen after being discharged. So often do I hear or read about the suicides of retired service members. When Ray died, I was crushed. He was one of my heroes. I remember when I told him I wanted to be a Marine. When I told him he replied, “That really hits me where I live” and proceeded to tell me about his experiences in the Gulf War.

I really looked up to Ray. Whenever he would come over, I’d ask him about the Marines. He’d tell me all kinds of stories: how he would work out three hours a day, how nasty the drill sergeants were in boot camp, and some war stories.

We were proud of Ray, especially when he saved a mother and child from a burning car that could have led to an explosion in the middle of town. My mom and her friend Gene got Ray a Superman shirt after they found out. Ray even was interviewed on television for his life-saving heroics.

Sometimes he’d come over with his hand all scuffed up with scratches. Ray would tell me his hands were messed up because he had been practicing Israeli knife fighting with sticks. Before he died, he told me he was going to help prepare me for the Marines by taking me shooting, teaching me combatives, and as a reward if I stuck to it, how to make a ghillie suit.

Unfortunately, Ray’s death came before we got a chance to do those things. When I learned about what happened to him, I couldn’t stop crying. There are few times in my life where I cried that hard. Despite his death I continued to prepare myself for the Marines, remembering his many lessons and holding it in my heart that I would honor him when I served. Because of a prior injury, the Marines wouldn’t take me. Instead, I joined the army and I am grateful to this day that I got a chance to serve.

Throughout basic training into Ranger selection I thought about Ray often. Whenever I’d be at my breaking point, I’d look up and say to myself “Ray is in that sky.” It is the strength I got from knowing he was up there watching over me that pushed me on.

To all my brothers and sisters who have fallen in service to our nation I salute you. To Ben, to Tyler, to Connor, to Ricardo, to Jennifer, and to Ray. Thank you for your service. Our nation remembers you this Memorial Day and every day.