When I first met Bruno, I knew we would become good friends. Over the next few months, I got to know him as not just a good friend, but a fellow infantry combat veteran and trusted ally. One day, Bruno told me about how he grew up, joined in the army, and why he was in prison. What follows is Bruno’s story.

Bruno was born in 1983 and spent a happy childhood in Burbank, California. Adopted, he lived in a nice house with well-to-do parents: his father was a Korean War Combat Veteran and his mother was a homemaker.

As he got older, he enjoyed school as much as the next kid. One day, however, Bruno and another male student kissed each other in a bathroom. To Bruno’s misfortune, he was caught, and his parents were called in. Subsequently, he was transferred to a Catholic school to ensure – by decree of his parents – that we would get into no more “funny business.”

Soon after, while Bruno was playing in the park with his friends, he stumbled upon the newspaper ad of a man seeking male to male companionship. Bruno decided to reply and told the man he was 18. What soon followed was an exploration of his sexuality.

Bruno and the man developed an interesting friendship. For a year and a half, the man would pick him up regularly. He’d take Bruno shopping, showering him with expensive clothing and cologne. At the end of the day, both Bruno and the man got to enjoy their “funny business.”

When I asked Bruno if he ever felt uncomfortable dating an older man, he told me, “No, I was having a blast!” He also stated he felt no shame in who he was. However, after a year and a half, Bruno started dating people his own age. When he got into high school, he had relationships with other guys at school.

Following high school graduation in 2001, Bruno worked as a car salesman. Longing to do more, he took interest in joining the California Highway Patrol (CHP) and began preparing for the entrance exams. Bruno passed and received a date for attending the CHP academy.

Sadly, during this time, Bruno’s father passed away. At the funeral, his father received Military Honors. As the honor guard draped a flag over the coffin, Bruno changed his mind about his future. With the intention of honoring his father, Bruno soon found himself in an Army recruitment office. In 2004 he was on a plane to Ft. Benning, Georgia.

The Army

After in-processing, Bruno was assigned to E-Company 2/19, The Widow Makers, for training. In the entire company, Bruno was the shortest. But despite his height, he was the most motivated. Bruno was inspired by the war hero Audie Murphy, one of the most decorated American combat soldiers of World War II who received every military combat award for valor available from the U.S. Army, and was determined to prove himself.

After battling pneumonia during training and enduring the risk of being recycled, Bruno prevailed. He graduated on time and earned the right to wear the infantry blue cord. Bruno was then assigned to Ft. Lewis as a member of 4th Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division, The Raiders. As an E-1, Bruno arrived at his unit in February 2005 and began training for The Surge, the amassing of U.S. troops in Iraq to counter the growing insurgency there.

Throughout training, Bruno was seeing a woman. Just before deployment, he asked her to marry him. She said yes.

As a married man, Bruno shipped out to Iraq in August 2006. After a layover in Rammstein and a month in Kuwait, he arrived in Bagdad. After training at COB Warhorse, he left for FOB Taji, where he got his first taste of the insurgency when a VBIED (car bomb) exploded at the main gate.

Shortly thereafter, Bruno’s unit was sent to work with the Iraqi Police (IP) in humanitarian efforts. He helped build schools, issue rations, pull security for engineers, help build roads, and train the IP on military tactics.

Bruno’s platoon’s first firefight erupted when they came under attack by small arms fire. The two sides traded gunfire until the platoon called in Air Support. “We were in there for 45 minutes until air support lit up the nearby palm groves…nobody got killed on our side, the only casualty was a .50 caliber tripod.”

After only a few months, Bruno’s company got orders to reposition. “After we finished with the Iraqi Police, we received orders to move the unit to Baqubah where we were to live with the Iraqi Army (IA).”

Upon arrival, Bruno’s unit found their living quarters to be an old 3-story factory; the first floor housed Americans and the second floor the Iraqi Army. During his stay he hung a picture of the Medal of Honor on his wall with a daily countdown that represented “how many days left [he had] to get a Medal of Honor.”

He told me that he had wanted the Medal of Honor because Audie Murphy had gotten one. When I asked Bruno why he had such an affinity for him he said, “He was short, like me, and I felt I had to prove myself like he did.” Despite the fact that his unit saw combat regularly, “the opportunity to earn one never arose.”

In addition to training the Iraqi Army, Bruno was assigned to the commander’s personnel security detachment and went on patrols almost daily. Bruno said that because they went out nearly every day, they saw combat at least once a week.

During our talks, Bruno reminisced about the losses his unit took. He told me the worst casualties his unit sustained happened when they “lost 6 guys in a single vehicle IED.” Bruno is still distraught over what happened to his fellow soldiers.

Despite the threat of dying, Bruno told me he “would do it again in a heartbeat.” Often throughout his narration he stated, “It feels like I was just over there.”

When I asked Bruno what his thoughts about fighting in Iraq were, he told me he “liked the idea of protecting people from terrorists” and still believes the “war in Iraq was a worthy cause.”

On Leave

When Bruno returned to the states after being deployed for 18 months, he took a trip with his wife to his home state of California. They spent all 30 days of his leave in Southern California visiting family and going to the beach.

Upon returning to Ft. Lewis after leave, he continued to train for the next two years. As an E-5 in 2009, Bruno received word that he would be deployed again.

Deployment had a huge impact on Bruno’s marriage. Because Bruno’s wife couldn’t cope with him being gone for such long periods of time, she divorced him. Despite this, Bruno still thinks of her as a good woman and that he realizes her young age (20) may have been the reason she didn’t want to be tied down. Bruno got his divorce paperwork overseas.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Bruno’s second deployment was much like his first. However, this time he was free from the bonds of marriage and began dating other soldiers, male and female alike. Throughout his second deployment, Bruno excelled at his job. By the end of the 12-month stint, he was promoted to Staff Sergeant.

When he returned to the states, he sought to express his sexuality covertly because of the Army’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Bruno iterated to me that he had personally seen friends kicked out of the military for expressing their true sexuality.

Because he couldn’t date openly, Bruno began a secret relationship with a man he met over the internet by the name of Jean. Bruno only met him off-post and where he couldn’t be caught. In the end, Bruno left Jean. He believed being in a relationship with Jean would’ve ruined his military career, “He was super flamboyant. I couldn’t risk getting caught…I feel like I’ll never get over it.”

“As much as I wanted a relationship with Jean, I knew it couldn’t happen…[it] made me sad. I still, to this day, love him. I wish I could go back and fix it.”

Trying to Fit In

Bruno entered into another relationship with a woman in order to try and “fix himself.” He got married and tried to play the “straight soldier role.” Despite this attempt to fit into heterosexual society, Bruno continued to seek ways to express his true sexuality.

It’s interesting to note that, from the beginning, Bruno and his wife constantly argued over his sexuality. “She hated me because I was gay,” he said.

When I asked him if he ever felt afraid that he might get caught he told me, “Absolutely. It was hard. Army officials wouldn’t think twice about kicking you out if they found out. ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ cost me relationships. It really negatively impacted my life.”

After the Army

Bruno decided to leave the Army when his fellow soldier and best friend committed suicide. Devastated by the loss of his friend and constantly at odds with the Army’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, Bruno believed it be best that he left. He stated that while separation was easy, he felt sadness over leaving his fellow soldiers.

It should be noted that soon after separating from the army, Bruno was diagnosed with PTSD by the Department of Veteran Affairs.

“When I finally got out, I was really excited. I thought about being a fashion designer but ended up in culinary school instead.”

Bruno was accepted into Le’ Cordon Blue, a prestigious culinary program in Seattle. Simultaneously, he began working at a high-end hotel in downtown Seattle. Bruno spent a total of 10 months in the main culinary program and another year in bakery and pastry. In 2013, he graduated.

Despite how demanding the culinary industry was for Bruno, he “loved it,” especially because it was “military structured” with a chain of command that you had to work up to climb the ranks.

“The culinary business is extremely competitive and demanding. Long hours, no weekends off. You’re always working. You don’t even get holidays off. America has to eat; the world has to eat!”

Because of this intense environment, Bruno told me that people in the business turn to alcohol and drugs to cope with the stress. Bruno admitted that he himself turned to drinking to cope. “Alcohol was always there to relieve the stress. I felt like it was all I really had.”

As Bruno’s culinary career advanced, his relationship with his wife deteriorated even more. One day, Bruno got into another heated dispute with this wife over his sexuality. She told him, “I’d rather you go to jail than have you out there fucking around like a fucking faggot,” and called the cops. When the police arrived, she told them that he put his hand on her, and as a result Bruno was arrested and charged with assault. It should be noted that Bruno has currently filed an appeal to exonerate him of this charge.

After a short stint in jail and with a no-contact order imposed on him, he continued to cook. Because of his culinary skills and extensive experience, Bruno was hired by a diner wanting to revamp their breakfast menu. Two weeks into the job, the executive chef quit. Impressed with Bruno’s work on the breakfast menu, the owners offered him the position; Bruno readily agreed.

“When I took that job, my wife and I were having marital issues. There was so much hatred from her. Even years after all of this, I’m still paying for her hatred. People don’t realize it, but guys can be victims of domestic violence as well.” Bruno’s second marriage ended in 2017.

Earned Release

As I write this, Bruno should not be in prison; literally. He’s currently months past his earned release date. The only reason he can’t leave is because DOC demands that he has an address to go home to. Because of his ex-wife, he doesn’t have a home anymore. He’s been waiting for a housing voucher since January.

When I asked Bruno if he had any family who could help him, he grimaced and told me “no” and went on to say that his family disowned him after he came out. What’s worse, Bruno was led to believe that his mother is dead but doesn’t know for sure because his family refuses to speak to him.

Despite his obstacles, Bruno is excited for release because he will finally get a chance to be who he is.

“I want to be me. I want to have a boyfriend. Last pride parade I got a rainbow bracelet with the words ‘Just Be You’ on it. I want to get these words tattooed on me. Also, I’d like to write a book…I want that book to be the light at the end of the tunnel. I want guys who are gay to be able to believe they can be who they are.”

Bruno respectfully requested that I not publish the details of his current incarceration as he is in the middle of his appeal and does not want to jeopardize it.